Hax: Una Solución Para El N00b-itus (EN)


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New Sim On The Block (EN)


Bill

Hello, new acquaintance.

Dave

Hey, neighbor, can I ask you something?

Bill

City hall. Rain cloud. Dollar sign.

Dave

Um, yeah. Listen, I really need a friend. My boss says I can’t get promoted until I get one and learn something about cooking. Life in politics is not what I imagined.

Bill

Soccer ball. Earth. Ghost!

Dave

Uh… huh.

Bill

I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Pause.

Dave

So… you watch any sports or anything?

Bill

Backrub?

Dave

Um, no thanks. I only ask because my TV only gets four channels, and they all speak this non-sense jibberish language. It’s so weird.

Bill

Backrub?

Dave

Uh, still no, thanks.

Bill

Tickle!

Dave

Haaaa… very funny. That was not at all awkward.

Bill

We’re friends now.

Dave

Jeez, really? Okay, whatever you say. I dunno how I’m supposed to prove that to my boss. Would you mind signing something?

Bill

I’m going to hug you now.

Dave

No thanks there, buddy. Just… sign this piece of paper?

Bill

Would you like to dance?

Dave

On your lawn? Not really. I don’t even know your name.

Bill

We’re not friends anymore.

Dave

Jeez. That’s kinda sudden.

Bill

I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Dave

Right. Of course you do. So I guess I’ll be going…

Bill

I’m going to study cooking and then make macaroni and then take a shower and then give you a backrub and then work out and then go to sleep.

Dave

That’s great. Hey, do you know what these things over our heads are supposed to be? I’m terrified that one day it’ll just fall and crack my skull open- WHOA. Did you just… piss yourself?

Bill

I’m sad that I peed on the ground.

Dave

Ew. Is that… blue? Did you pee blue?

Bill

AHHHHH! SOMETHING IS ON FIRE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!!! I HAVETO GO STAND NEXT TO IT AND SCREAM!

Bill runs off.

Dave

Crap, well, maybe I’ll go for a swim. Hope the ladders don’t mysteriously disappear this time.

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